Log Title: All Apologies
Summary: Sometimes honesty makes things worse.
IC Date: Sat Mar 16 18:47, 2381
OOC Date: Sat Mar 16 18:47, 2019
Related Logs: None
royalkagami

 

 

Royal > Hello. Do you mind if I come by your flat?

* * *

Kagami > Sure. I'm home.

* * *

Royal > Be along shortly.

* * *

About a half an hour later, there's a chime on Kagami's ONI indicating there's a visitor at the door. Royal is there, holding a basket of whatever gifts were sent his way, and also a carrier bag.

* * *

The gifts are just paper origami cranes. Kagami sees the chime and he walks over to the door and opens it. He's still pale but looking much better. He's wearing a white t-shirt and black sweat pants. His hair is brushed back out of his face. He glances down at the cranes and his face turns sad but he steps out of the way and walks into the living room and takes a seat. There is a hot tea on the table.

* * *

Royal's attire is less peacocky than normal. It's a classic black suit with a salmon coloured pocket square and a white button-down. "Hello hello. I brought you some food from a place guaranteed not to have monster tape worms. Don't worry, it's all criminally underseasoned and bland in case you're still feeling a bit tummy-sick. How are you feeling?" He steps in and looks for a place to set down his armloads of stuff.

* * *

The apartment has been cleaned well over many times. To the point there is not even a spot of dust anywhere. He lifts his eyes and watches Royal carefully. "Thank you." He speaks meekly. "I'm alright, thanks to you. However, we have three fatalities in George, Stretch, and Ana." He shakes his head. "They didn't make it but at least we know why I was piggy." He pushes himself up. "Would you like some tea? I just made some."

* * *

It takes Royal a moment to figure out who those are. Then he smiles a bit awkwardly and exhales something that sounds like half a laugh. "Right. Well, they were unwanted houseguests. Any idea where you picked them up?" He looks towards the tea. "Sure." The bags with the food bear the logo of an upscale casual dining restaurant. There's several re-heatable meals in containers, enough for about a week's worth of dinners.

* * *

Kagami pours a tea into a beautiful tea mug. He brings it over to Royal and holds it out. "Apparently, Stretch and Ana were over six months old. So, I didn't pick them up." He grumbles. He looks over to the food and waits until Royal takes his tea before moving back to where the little makeshift bed on the couch is. Console and everything. He sits down and brings his tea to his knees to rest it there.

* * *

"Well. That's a bit like buying a new vehicle and finding out there's a problem with the transmission. Or…something. I don't know much about cars." Royal takes the tea. "Well, at least this way your parents might get a little bit of their money back? I met your father, by the way. He's a prick."

* * *

Kagami grumbles quietly and takes a sip. "In this case it would be a raccoon in the engine block." He lifts his eyes and shakes his head. "Why would you say that? That's my dad." His voice is quiet as he looks to his knees.

* * *

"Because I tried to get your parents to look after you. He said both he and your mother had to work to pay for your sleeve lease. I said I'd pay for it, and he refused." Royal sips his tea, then sets it down and wraps both hands around his mug. "I do hope you're feeling better."

* * *

He takes a deep breath. "I could still be on ice if they didn't … He's proud. Like someone else I know. Less of a peacock but proud." He sips his tea and frowns. "He wants to take care of his family the only way he knows how. He is. I am sorry you don't like him."

* * *

"He refused to take care of his own child. And he used money as an excuse. Speak of…" Royal straightens a little. "I hope you didn't refuse the nurse. The hospital said you shouldn't be on your own for the first while."

* * *

Kag looks down at his knees as he sips his tea. "I'm sorry." His voice cracks. "I did use the nurse though I think I frustrated her. For the first day I was out of it and after I was trying to do too much." He shakes his head. "Winter ended up sedating me. That helped with sleep for a few days."

* * *

"Winter…" Royal cants his head. "You're a patient of Dr. Tau's?" Small world. He sips his tea. "Doesn't matter if you frustrated the nurse. She was here to do a job. So it was up to her to accommodate you."

* * *

Kagami nods his head. "She helped me accept my body." He grumbles. "I'm sorry." He bows his head and tears up a little. "I'm sorry I fucked up. I'm sorry that happened in front of you. I'm so sorry."

* * *

"Good lord. What are you apologizing for, Kagami? Your sleeve got tapeworms before you even were in it. That's not your bloody fault." Royal's forehead wrinkles. "You have a habit of thinking everything's on you, you realize? After meeting your father, I understand that a bit more."

* * *

Kagami sips more tea and lifts his eyes. "My father was the loving one. I got a hug a month from him. You didn't meet my mom. When I said I wasn't going to be an bio-engineer like I was at school for… she didn't talk to me for six months." He shakes his head and sips more tea. "I… I am sorry. Something happened and our dynamic changed and I'm sorry I hurt you or said something or did something. That's what I'm apologizing for. I miss my friend."

* * *

Royal makes a soft sound of frustration. It's a bit of a sad sound as well. He pushes the tea aside. "That's what I wanted to speak to you about. But before I say anything, I want you to know that you aren't at fault. And I'm still your friend."

* * *

He puts the tea down and hugs his knees. He brings them tight to his chest and watches Royal with glassy eyes. "Okay."

* * *

Royal doesn't start right away. His jaw clenches, and his eyes are slightly unfocused. "I do not think…our 'with benefits' arrangement is good for you. You both desire, and deserve a nurturing relationship. And that is not me. You accepted my terms not because that was what you wanted, but because for some reason I cannot fathom, you like me that much."

* * *

Kagami's feet go to the floor and he looks down. "You do not speak for me or what I want." He grabs his tea. "Or what I need. However, I did say when you said no more so… I hope you find something you are looking for." His voice is very quiet as he stands up. "Is there anything else?"

* * *

"Kagami, you sat on my doorstep instead of calling. How would you have felt if I had brought home someone else that night? Because I have been, you know. Sleeping with other people. I was upfront about that." Royal clenches his jaw. "I still want to be your friend. I don't have many here. And I enjoy your company."

* * *

Kagami shrugs. "If you brought someone home and I saw you stumbling ass drunk towards your door I would have ghosted." He shakes his head. "I am not here to ruin your dates or fuck buddies." He brings his tea to his chest. "But you are assuming my feelings which you are entitled too." He moves towards the kitchen and puts his tea on the counter. "I have an idea why you don't have many friends. Especially since you think so poorly of people." He says with his back turned.

* * *

Royal rubs his face, then stands up. He steps towards Kagami, but doesn't reach out. "I don't think poorly of you. I just think you want more than I can give you. And you're compromising. And that makes me feel like shit."

He slides his hands down the front of his jacket, then buttons it. "I don't want someone to take care of me. I've been taken care of and fussed over and managed my entire life." He pauses, works his jaw to the side, and then adds, "And I don't want to take care of anyone. That's selfish of me, I know. But it's the truth." He looks away, lets that sit a moment, then starts for the door. "I hope you feel better soon. And if you'd still like to be friends, you know where to find me."

* * *

He turns and glares at Royal. "You do think poorly of me. You just can't admit it." He crosses his arms before walking into his office and coming out with a bag. He shoves it at Royal and frowns. "To pay off your care at the hospital." He states almost angrily before letting go uncaring if Royal has the bag in hand or not. "I don't need your help. I don't need your contacts. We don't need to be friends and I don't need to help you with your job. You can do it alone." His voice quiet but firm. "You were worried about hurting me well you did much worse than that. Get out of my house and take your money." He turns and moves into the office and closes the door leaving Royal alone.

* * *

Royal stands there for a moment. He watches Kagami go. This time, he doesn't chase after, doesn't call out. Instead, he just sets the money down on the counter, takes a deep breath, then turns and walks out the door.